During my poor attempts at finding someone to live with in the city I couldn't help but think about what it is that people actually expect me to be. It's partially because I know my own weaknesses - I'm not myself when I first meet someone. I'm really terrible at meeting new people because I just can't seem to think like myself. Every moment seems like an awkward one. I'm fine at meeting new people when it's through other people that I know well though - especially when it's through someone like Tom where we can poke fun at him and compare notes on his quirks.

So first, I am I supposed to try to be someone that I'm not when I first meet someone? I think I tried that once or twice and it's doesn't work out. I'm just a geeky guy and unless I'm on stage, trying to be someone else just looks silly. So now that we've determined that I've *got* to be myself, where do you find a mutual interest in living with someone else when I *can't* seem to be myself around people that I don't know? I understand that I've secretly just combined willingly not being myself and unwillingly not being myself in to one lump sum because it's really all the same - I'm not being myself.

I think I'm back to looking at tiny (expensive) studios in the city again. I'm just so fed up with being unable to find someone that wants to live with me as much as I want to live with them. I know I'm incredibly picky and I'm sure other people are as well. I just don't think I'm going to find someone that I can deal with that I don't know before thinking of them as a roommate.

Rejection kinda makes you think, eh?