Let’s pretend that I’m writing this so that I can identify the things that I have to fix so I can be optimistic.

Life would be better if I had companionship. In a way, it means that I wish I had a girlfriend but at the same time, just having a girlfriend does me no good. Someone who cares and comforts is what I need. A constant in my life that I can always go back to and be truthful with.

Life would be better if I had a routine. I am utterly without times and places to be almost always. I’m in a constant state of relaxing from routine and if you know me, you know that I need routine. In some ways, it’s more relaxing than taking time off from routine. Creating a routine for myself requires a goal and something to work on. I wish I could come up with either.

Life would be better if I had independance. The one draw of college is independance but I know I can't go back for that reason alone. Independance means freedom and mobility. A car, a place to live and places to go. One down.

Life would be better if I had a job. And don't think that I'm not trying. A job would bring routine, some sort of cash, a place to start and independance. It would be the begining of something great. As simple as it sounds to get a simple job, simple jobs only make me depressed and unmotivated. Shooting straight for 20 rungs up on the ladder is no fun at all and exactly what I need to do.